Fiction Friday 8.14.09

Friday Fiction has arrived and I barely made it!!
Please leave a comment!!!
Directions: End your story with “Hello Jones!”
*********************************************************8
I should have said NO, Cara muttered under her breath as the maitr’d seated her and explained her server will be with her momentarily. Cara wasn’t really listening, she was nervous and wanted to go home and hide in her forum, the place it didn’t matter what she did or didn’t do. She accepted wholeheartedly. She didn’t want to think about the fact being in the said forum is the reason she’s out on a Thursday evening waiting for her mystery date, not a date more like a Hey What’s Up? . Do you wear a new outfit to a Hey What’s Up, she asked her self, after several years of being alone she answered a solid NO.

DontCara: I thought the Temple of Doom sucked.
GeekForce1: How could you think Temple of Doom sucked but the new Star Wars were decent movies?
DontCara: It didn’t say they were good just not as BAD as every1 made them out to be.
Geek Force1: nxt u’ll tell me you thought jarjar binx was ok
DontCara: I think he was misunderstood & nvr appreciated!
GeekForce1: Srly did you hit your head when you feel in you Jimmy Choo’s?
DontCara: hmmmm….me thinks you want to wear them since you know the name.
GeekForce1: Ex lived by them and I paid for most of them.
DontCara: Oh so she got the better end of the break up
GeekForce1: She wish!!
DontCara: so I was right you do like Jimmy’s Choo too!
GeekForce1: Ha. Ha. Srly I paid for them so they were mine. I took them.
DontCara: Not that I honestly care but what did u do w/ them?
GeekForce1: ;-) I sold them on ebay
DontCara: Eww! Ppl bought used shoes?! How many did you put up?
GeekForce1: apparently u ladies will do anything for a label. I think 10 pair.
DontCara: incl dealing with u?. WHAT?! 10 pair! WTF?! Where was i? Well at least u got ur money back
GeekForce1: LOL sorry if I knew u then I would have told ur label luvin’s ass to check it out. actually I didn’t make enough to cover 1 pair,
DontCara: I’m so going to regret this but how much did u sell them for?
GeekForce1: LOL $10 a pair
DontCara: That’s effed up.
GeekForce1: Yeah I’m an ass.
DontCara: I know. So PM me later, I need to watch Project Runway.
GeekForce1: LOL ok label whore, ttyl.


Cara smile as she thought about that first PM, he constantly called her a label whore and she called him grumpy-ass. She constantly found her self saying things she would never say in real life. Cara was the woman you work with but didn’t remember her name even though she’d work there for years. She’s the one people called when they were too drunk to drive but never invited her to the party. She was a mouse. Boring. Quiet. Letting out another sigh, Cara waited at the table for Geek to reject her. And if she was going to be rejected she wanted to make sure she looked damn good. Cara raided her closet for days but nothing looked remotely nice for this meeting. Finally taking a plunge she went to Gap, she really wasn’t a label whore as Geeky liked to call her but it didn’t mean she wasn’t an admirer of certain brands. After 45 minutes she found jeans that molded her curvy hips and a sweater that show enough cleave to remind boys she’s a girl but not so much people would think she was a tart. She wore her hair wild and curly similar to Mel B from Spice Girls minus the tongue ring. She put on her standard mascara and dark pink lip gloss. Not that it would matter, she thought sourly. She remember Geeky likes blondes, he dated a lot so his geekiness works for him. My geek factor is my actual demise.
Her server Brad, interrupted her thoughts. She explained she was waiting for a her someone, he then said he’d wait till her party arrived before talking about the specials but could take her drink order in the mean time. Cara ordered Rum & Coke; why pretend she liked wine she thought. Her goal is to be real, not some timid weakling most people think she was. She looked at her iphone and Geek was 5 mins late. She texted him the name of the restaurant and name the reservations were under in case he beat her there.
She never thought a week ago she’d be in a restaurant waiting to meet him but that was a conversation that has plagued her for days.

DontCara: I hate the movie theatre by my house.
GeekForce1: Why? They’re not playing Twilight?

10 minutes later

GeekForce1: Oh dear gawd you were trying to see that damn Vampire movie?!
DontCara: Don’t t judge me!
GeekForce1: um yeah I can. WTF, dude!
DontCara: Don’t call me Dude I’m a real life girl!!! The books were really good!!!!
GeekForce1: I forgot you hate to be called dude, ur weird at times. srly ur too old for that movie....wait you read the books too?! Ur so the geek tonight.


15 mins later

GeekForce1: Cares? I’m sorry.
DontCara: apology accepted.
GeekForce1: Why don’t u find another theater?
DontCara: No ur right, its stupid.
GeekForce1: Tell ur girls to meet u at another theater


22 mins later

GeekForce1: Cara…..wuts up? ur quiet tonight.

10 mins later

GeekForce1: Cara, I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings that was never my intention.
DontCara: I know Geeky
GeekForce1: I’m sorry, srly. Did ur friends say no to the movie?


5 mins later

GeekForce1: wut did i say?
DontCara: u didn’t do anything. Geeky i have no real friends.
GeekForce1: wut do you mean?
DontCara: xactly as I said. I go to wrk, I come home and get online. That’s it.
GeekForce1: who do u hang out w/?
DontCara: no one. Just u….online.
GeekForce1: No u were dating some dude, right?
DontCara: that was 4 months ago and it lasted 1 month. I bored him to death.
GeekForce1: ur not boring ur fuckin hilarious.
DontCara: its true. Listen I’m use to it.
GeekForce1: u need to interact w/ RL ppl
DontCara: Its 2 hard, Ive been at my job for 2 yrs & they still forget to include me in meetings.
GeekForce1: I hate tha fact ur alone
DontCara: its ok, I’m use to it.
GeekForce: Doesn’t make it right. I have an idea…..will u listen to my idea?
DontCara: If you suggest Eharmony to date too late….my profile was reject.
GeekForce1: No, I wasn’t going to suggest that….really rejected? Dude we’re gonna have to have a real convo soon. So I think we should meet up….in RL.


14 mins later

DontCara: um…no.
GeekForce1: that hurts! Why?
DontCara: I don’t date Geeks.
GeekForce1: WTF! Who said it was a date? It’s a Hey What’s Up meeting
DontCara: trust me if we want the friendship to continue online is better.

7 mins later

GeekForce1: Do you really want me to use my Geekness as you put it and show up on your doorstep?
DontCara: Geek….
GeekForce1: The name is Jason, Cara.
DontCara: yeah…ok. Hi Jason.
GeekForce1: Listen I have to run but we’ll talk ON THE PHONE to hash out the details but pls always be honest w/ me. I’m always honest w/ u.
DontCara: ok…wait ur ALWAYS honest with me?
GeekForce1: yeah y the doubt?
DontCara: I don’t know. Don’t want it to end yet.
GeekForce1: shit it seems I’m gonna have to go all girly on u. Listen I care about u, ur real and I like that. Not many ppl in LA are real. So I’m not giving up on you.
DontCara: We’ll see.
GeekForce1: Don’t doubt me. Ciao
DontCara: wait u don’t have my #
GeekForce1: oh seey Cara, u gave it to me months ago….I told you not to drink & play on the internet.

Cara was suddenly distracted when the maitr’d brought a stunningly good looking guy to the table. He must have the wrong spot, so she continued to sip her drink but couldn’t take her eyes off of him. He had to be about 6’2 or 6’3, lean but muscular physique, wavy sandy blonde hair, laughing blue green eyes, who knew eyes could laugh, she thought. And then he smiled and she saw the dimples. She remembered he told her he had dimples.

GeekForce1: I left early from work so I could actually catch up on Battlestar Galatica.
DonCara: What? How did you get out of work so early?
GeekForce1: My dimples are very powerful, friend.
DontCara: LOL well I bet I could resist them!

Cara closed her eyes and opened them and he was still there. This had to be him but he’s no geek, she thought. She stood up and went to stand before him.
“Jason?” she asked in a low voice filled with wonder.
He smiled, took her in his arms and gave her a big hug. He smiled at his new friend.
“Hello, Jones!”

Comments

Chris Chartrand said…
Hey that was pretty cool. I like how you used the texting as a flashback device to set the scene. I hope it works out for them.
Mark said…
I love this story. Love it. Your framing techniques and characterization make this shine.
lilkel4 said…
Ahh.. this is a good story! Are you going to write more? I also, like the texting as a flash back and like that he is trying to bring her out of her shell! :) love it so far!
Unknown said…
I always enjoy a story which utilities different techniques in bringing in the back story. Using text messaging as flashbacks gives the story that urban edgy feel forcing it into the present. It also allowed some good character building in a short space.

On my quest to try different genres each week, mine this week is influenced by Cyberpunk. http://annieevett.blogspot.com/2009/08/cold-cobblestones.html
Chris said…
I really enjoyed this story!!I liked the way you set up the characters and used the texting as a flashback tool. It helped to show Caras insecurity in meeting Jason, because you could really tell that she truely liked him and did not want to screw that up. On the flip side it showed Jasons confidence in her and their friendship. I loved the way the story ended with them finally meeting and you tying it in with your "Hello Jones" Aside from a few grammitical errors it was a really great piece! Well done Tammy!!
Anonymous said…
I really enjoyed reading the texts! You did a great job here of developing the characters. I am sooo glad he was good looking!!
Ronda Levine said…
I like that you wove the contemporary in with the date. I enjoyed this piece a lot!

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