Fiction Friday: Summer's Passion

Disclaimer: I've been working on a story on the side and this week's challenge worked perfectly for what I had in mind so basically this is a scene I'm planning to incorporating into my story Summer's Passion.
[Fiction] Friday Challenge #118 for August 21st, 2009
Start your story with a game of hide and seek.

"Oh goodie we're playing my favorite game" a voice said from down stairs Summer couldn't move. Kyle had finally gone home and now her stalker was really here in her home. The police told her he was captured; Kyle assured her she was safe even though their parting conversation wasn't its best she knew he would never knowingly leave her in danger.

"Come out, Come out where ever you are”, the voice yelled as he opened the door to the kitchen.
"What’s this?” the voice asked, Summer suddenly hear glass breaking. She knew he threw the bottle of champagne she and Kyle were going to share until they had huge fight. "You've been a bad, bad girl", he continued. Patting herself she realized she was bra less. Crap he found the bra, she thought. No bra meant no cell phone.
She heard him slowing slowly making his way up the stairs she silently closed the bed room door and frantically looking for the house phone Kyle installed when this night mare began. When she clicked talked she was met with static silence. The lines had been cut. She knew she didn't have her cell on her, it was downstairs in her bag. She looked around the room for something, anything.

"I love hide and seek" the voice said, Summer felt chills down her spine. She heard him creep into her bedroom still unaware she was down the hall. She tried the windows but they didn’t budge, cursing the painter who worked on her house last year. When this fiasco started she was thankful because it meant her unseen maniac couldn't get into her house but at the moment her only escape route was a dead end. The street light provided very little light but she was able to make out one of Kyle's bags. She unzipped as quietly as possible and found a gun. Summer only held a revolver once when Kyle took her and Kelly to the firing range before he went to the academy. She hated the way it felt in her hands, the anxiety became too much and Kyle had to remove the gun from her hands, she never touched a gun since.

"When I catch you I plan to show you how bad you've been" the voice said again, it seems like he was exiting her bed room and entering her private music studio. Summer felt like a caged animal, knew she there was no way out. Kyle was gone, the police patrol were also gone, the lines were cut, her cell down stairs, it was only a matter of time before he came into the spare room. The tears welled up in her eyes and knew she was defeated. As the tears rolled down her cheeks she started to shake not just from the fear but the unexpected anger. She was so angry she couldn't even breathe.

Think Zen Summer!, she thought. If I'm going out I'm taking someone with me, she silently ranted to herself. She was completely numb all she could think about was the fact this fucker went through her home, destroyed place of business, and worst of violated her personal space.
Oh that fucker will pay, she thought.

Silently opening the door, she walked slowly to the staircase, she could hear him trashing her studio. She tried not to think about her precious guitars being thrown against the wall and continued down the stairs. Her heart pounding but she focused on the front door and she’ll be free. Just 4 steps to go before she could step down she felt her head yanked back.
‘UGH’, she yelled she felt a fist pound into her head repeatedly.

“You filthy whore! You WHORE!” he yelled, his face was still a mystery. She felt him move over her as he pounded and knew she was going to lose consciousness soon. She couldn’t get away nor could she reach for the gun she had tucked in her back. She tried to remember a few Self Defense maneuvers Kyle tried to instill in her, she aimed for his groin.
He let out a loud groan.
She kneed him again until he was off of her with a new burst of energy she started swinging. But he recovered quicker than she expect and pouched her in the stomach, trying to regain her breathe she was able to nick him in the chin and hit him hard. Stumbling back wards she made it down the last few steps and he came for her again. She pulled out the gun and aimed it at him.
She could barely see with the blood streaming into her eyes. She removed the safety.

“Come on fucker”,she said her hands steady, she had no more fear.


christid_md1 said…
Tammy- You know how I feel but I'll tell you again. This piece is amazing and I love the way you wove the theme into your story. With out saying too much you revealed so much about all of your characters. Your descriptions are fantastic, I can see the stalker creeping from room, and I love the way summer is so weak and yet so strong at the same time. She has so much resolve for herself when she needs it the most. Still some tense and wording work that was over looked but over all this is GREAT!
This is so exciting that I read it too fast the first time so I had to read it again. Brilliant!
Anonymous said…
This used to be my absolute favorite genre to read. You have done as well here as some of my favorite authors. Great action, suspense and fear factor. Keep it up!
Mark said…
I like how you keep pounding the point that safety (communication) is elsewhere and that she is trapped. Then it shifts and she is trapped by her fear...

Well done.
Chris Chartrand said…
This is really very good. You did a great job creating suspense and your pacing was spot on. Based on this scene alone I can't wait to read the project that this will be part of.
Absolutely amazing storytelling, T, I loved it! I'm so glad you've been so busy with your writing. The idea of the "challenges" is perfect inspiration to keep you motivated too. This story will incredible!
Ronda Levine said…
Wow, this is really good. I look forward to the rest of the story. You did a very nice job weaving suspense with this week's theme.
Don said…
Hey, this wasn't bad. I began reading the story not really thinking I'd enjoy it, but turns out to be a pretty good read. Has me all excited. LOL.

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