Dealing with today
I don’t know what’s going on with me lately. Love songs are making me weepy, I get extremely lonely when normally I’m ok with my alone times. I’ve been thinking about Rob way too much lately. I think knowing we have NO contact is just odd too me. He removed me as a Netflix friend so I guess it was time to break that tie. But I don’t think that bothers me too much. Part of me is happy I wont receive that phone call or go to dinner and we end up in bed. I’m happy I don’t have that pressure but another part of me feels like I was left alone to find my way home but where is home exactly?
I’m trying not to get blue but its getting worst and worst. I even tried to hang with Jason but he’s only going to want sex. I need something more….I just need to be held. I love sex and all but for some reason it goes deeper than that. Its scary because I feel like I’m falling into an abyss and wonder if I will survive.
I need to reschedule my sessions with Dr. Susan, she really did help me because I was able to get things out on a weekly basis. The first of the year I’m going back!! I know she can fix my blues but every little bit helps.
Maybe it’s the Twilight addiction affecting me? Who knows normally I can space out when I watch a movie or read a book. Now whatever the characters feel, I then feel it too. And I feel like every wound is exposed and I’m bleeding out.
This should be a happy time for me. I’ve lost 40 lbs and still going strong (ok this week is a plateau). I feel great except the occasional tummy ache and dumping syndrome but other than that I should be on top of the world but all I really feel like doing is hiding from the world. It could be the rain…..what if I’m actually depressed because of the surgery. I remember the doctors telling us that….still strange didn’t think it’d happen to me.
I’m trying not to get blue but its getting worst and worst. I even tried to hang with Jason but he’s only going to want sex. I need something more….I just need to be held. I love sex and all but for some reason it goes deeper than that. Its scary because I feel like I’m falling into an abyss and wonder if I will survive.
I need to reschedule my sessions with Dr. Susan, she really did help me because I was able to get things out on a weekly basis. The first of the year I’m going back!! I know she can fix my blues but every little bit helps.
Maybe it’s the Twilight addiction affecting me? Who knows normally I can space out when I watch a movie or read a book. Now whatever the characters feel, I then feel it too. And I feel like every wound is exposed and I’m bleeding out.
This should be a happy time for me. I’ve lost 40 lbs and still going strong (ok this week is a plateau). I feel great except the occasional tummy ache and dumping syndrome but other than that I should be on top of the world but all I really feel like doing is hiding from the world. It could be the rain…..what if I’m actually depressed because of the surgery. I remember the doctors telling us that….still strange didn’t think it’d happen to me.
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